Friday, September 11, 2015


Tonight at bedtime, Bud told me that in social studies today, he wrote about how he felt about the anniversary of September 11. I asked him if he knew what happened on September 11, and he answered with a portion of a script from Mister Rogers. Then he told me that is was a sad day and that people were scared and people were hurt.

I told him he was right.

I told him that he was very little on September 11. He wasn't even two years old.

I told him that when the sad things were happening on September 11, he and I were at Kindermusik. I told him that it was a class we took with other moms and kids.

"It was Kindermusik with a k," he said.

"That's right, it was," I said, a bit surprised.

"My teacher's name was Meredith," he said. "What was her last name?"

I told him.

"And we were at Mrs. H's church," he said.

"That's right," I said. "That's where the Kindermusik class was."

"We were singing and dancing," he said.

"Yes," I said. "We were."

Does Bud remember Kindermusik independent of September 11, or is the class etched into his mind because it is connected to that event for him, as it is for me? Though he was too young to understand what was happening that day, could he tell from the rest of us that it was a day we would remember forever? I have no idea.

All I know is that we all remember where we were that day.

Even Bud.

Sunday, September 06, 2015


I had a dream last night.

It was late morning and I was at home (or, I knew it was my home, but it wasn’t my actual home) and there were lots of people there and I realized there was a Big Family Thing going on and there were lots of Big Family Expectations that I was going to need to fulfill, when I suddenly remembered that I had plans to go out that evening with Cathy, my bff from high school, and that I had different plans to meet Karen, my bff from college, for dinner in a location about an hour away.

In the dream, lots of Big Family Things were happening all around me, and I kept thinking that I really needed to shower and change out of my pajamas, so that I could focus and figure out a game plan for the rest of the day, because I really wanted to see Cathy and I really wanted to see Karen, and I knew I couldn’t do both, but, realistically, I probably couldn’t do either, because despite the fact that I had no idea what Big Family Thing was happening, the chances were good that I shouldn’t be ducking out when a Big Family Thing was happening – and, honestly, whether I was meeting Karen, going out with Cathy, or participating in a Big Family Thing, I had a hunch it was all going to go more smoothly if I could just take a shower and change out of my pajamas.

Suddenly, I realized that it was 3:00, and I was supposed to meet Karen at 4:00 at a mall about an hour away, and I knew that I should text her right then and tell her not to leave her house, because I had not showered and I was still in my pajamas and I would not be there in an hour in the best of circumstances, and even if I jumped in the car right then, I would still have to deal with the issue of having simultaneous plans to go out with Cathy, in addition to whatever events had been planned for the Big Family Thing that was going on, but instead of texting Karen to say “I can’t make it,” I texted instead: “I might be a little late."

More things happened, in the whirlwindy way that dream things do, and I realized that it was 4:00 and that Karen, who is always early, had probably been at the mall for at least 20 minutes, and I had still not found my way into the shower or out of my pajamas, and I realized that at the very least, I should call Cathy and let her know that I would definitely not be able to go out with her, because I had Big Family Thing commitments, which surely she would understand, since she, too, is of the Big Family Thing ilk, but I didn’t get to call her because more Big Family Things were going on, and then I discovered that the shower was free and this was my opportunity to use it, but I glanced out the window on my way to the bathroom and saw that there was a car trying to get into the driveway, that was being blocked by a car that was already in the driveway, and I went out to discover that the blocking car was my friend Cathy and her two sisters, who were there to pick me up, and that the blocked car was Karen, who decided to leave the mall an hour away to drive down to find out what was going on, and when I, unwashed and pajama-clad, climbed into her passenger’s seat to try to explain, I discovered that my always calm, totally rational, supremely supportive bff from college was really angry with me for failing to communicate and leaving her hanging, despite the fact that she had put a lot of time and energy into planning a really, really cool evening for me.

And then Bud woke me up and I realized that it was a dream.

And then I remembered that it's just that time of year.