I have forgotten how to read.
At first, I was mildly concerned, but now I'm starting to panic. I can't read. Well, yes, I mean, I can read - I can look at words and know what they mean, I can string the words together into sentences and paragraphs and pages and collect the big picture, but I'm talking books here. Books. My shelter from the storm. My escape. My adventure. My friends. My books. I've forgotten how to read them.
It's been going on for several months. In those months, I have started and abandoned a dozen books. Good books. Books that I should like - that I would like, if I could just read them. But I can't. I can make it through about a chapter, and then I lose interest. They sit on my bedside table and mock me. I pick them up and put them down. I swap them out for other books. Nothing works.
So, please: help me out here. I need a book. I need a really great can't-put-it-down-if-you-try book. But I have qualifiers.
I am looking for a book:
that is not about autism;
that will not make me cry;
that does not involve children who are dead or abused or neglected or in pain;
that is not about women in midlife "finding themselves" or getting their grooves back;
BUT (and this is important)
that is not too light and fluffy.
I am looking for The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay. Or Assassination Vacation. Or a new Rochelle Krich mystery.