Sometimes it's his most difficult feelings that Bud expresses best. Last week I had to work late, and missed the dinner, bathtime, and bedtime routines. Though Daddy and Nana were here to make the process run smoothly, Bud grew increasingly dismayed as the evening wore on.
"I'm sad," he told Nana.
"What makes you sad, Bud?" Nana asked.
"I'm not..." he started.
"I don't..." he said.
"Mom nots..." he tried again.
Then slowly and carefully, he put his thoughts into words: "I don't...want...Mom gone." (And, for the record, if I can put my own thoughts into words for a moment - Mom don'ts wants to be gone, too.)
This weekend Bud and I were headed out for a day of errands, and Daddy was planning a day for himself. Bud seemed fine with the plan; he put on his coat, gave Daddy a kiss, and announced that he was off "to the Red Store!" (Target, of course.)
Bud went out to the garage ahead of me and I dashed back into the house to get something I'd forgotten. When I got to the garage 30 seconds later, Bud was awash in tears. Before I could look for blood or ask what had happened, Bud looked in my eyes and said "I miss Daddy!" We ran back into the house and Daddy wrapped his arms around Bud and held him tightly.
"Do you want me to come with you, Bud?"
"Okay, honey. It's okay."
Bud looked over his shoulder at me and smiled through his tears. "Dad's gonna go with him."
Of course, good parents never want to make their children sad. But sometimes... sometimes it really is worth it.