Friday, March 08, 2013

On second thoughts and shifting perspectives

That pesky universe is at it again.

A little over a week ago, I published a new blog post about approaching life through the lens of appreciative inquiry.  It was up for about an hour, it got a little bit of positive feedback on Facebook, and then I re-read it and groaned.  It seemed heavy-handed and pedantic.  It felt like a whole lot of academic bluster - a whole lot of blah blah blah that just made me sick of myself.  So I took it down.

Then today, I spoke to a Speech Language Pathologist for an unrelated article that I'm writing, focusing on pragmatic language disorders and what parents can do at home to help their children.  His response was neither heavy-handed nor pedantic.  There was no bluster and no blah blah blah.  He used completely different words and he handed my philosophy back to me.

"We need to step back from a deficit model," he said. "We need to ask, 'what are the intrinsic gifts that this child brings to me as a parent and to this family?'"

"We need to be constructive in the building of solutions," he said. "We can decide to see the difficulties or we can learn to focus on the opportunities."

In other words, he said we need to identify what's working and then do more of it.  Not only that:  he said that it's the most important thing that we can do for our children.

My last post is up again.  And my thanks go out to both the universe and Dr. Jeff Marler of ASPIRE - Innovative Language Interventions, PLLC in Southlake, Texas for leading me back to it.


kirsten said...

Ok, thank him for me for that quote about opportunities, it is perfect in our current 'discussion' with people who work with our son who just don't see anything but the negative.

Anonymous said...

When you are done with your article on pragmatic language would you post a link to it or tell your readers where they can find/purchase it? My almost 4 year old daughter has speech issues very similar to Bud's and I have found your blog so helpful and your writing so articulate and inspirational - I would love to read that article when you're done.

Rooster's Mom said...

I saw your post go up originally, appreciated it, and noticed when it went down. I always think of your posts as generous offerings, as gifts, and I have never seen anything you posted as heavy-handed or anything like that. I hope you will always continue to share, because I know I am not the only one who benefits. I appreciate your willingness to write, and I learn from you. There are three or four blogs that I get excited every time a new post goes up, and yours is one of them. You make a difference in my learning and parenting and teaching. Thank you.

TC said...

We've had such a hard week in our house, and it was so intricately tied into my NOS's pragmatic language issues that one wouldn't exist without the other. I'm echoing Anonymous's request for that article when you're done with it. Please. And thank you.

Dr Jeff Marler said...

Mary, I loved the blog posting that you thought might be too academic. I really appreciated your thoughts on Appreciative Inquiry. A method that begins with what works, what is wonderfully unique about the individual! If we can affirm what is sound and good in the differently-abled child (and in their families), then they can, via their own skills, gain the resilience they need to press through the challenges. This is what I strive to provide, both to my clients, and to the families who have entrusted me with the children they love.

Thanks again for your great blog and the time we shared together.