I'm usually not one for New Year's resolutions, but I have to say - I'm looking at my blog stats for 2009 and they're making me feel positively resolute.
It seems I only had 31 posts in all of 2009.
The number stands there in my sidebar in stark contrast to the 227 posts I wrote in my most prolific blogging year, 2006, when I had 31 posts in a single month - November. That was the month I participated in NaBloPoMo, National Blog Posting Month, in which bloggers resolved to post every day for an entire month. Does NaBloPoMo even exist anymore? I have no idea. I've fallen so far off the blogging wagon I'm not even sure what other bloggers are doing these days.
Now, I'm not getting down on myself for not posting regularly in 2009. There are lots of reasons - lots of good reasons - why I didn't. But there are three things that occur to me as I contemplate the number 31.
First, I think that, for me, a scarcity of posts is a phenomenon that feeds on itself. There is a game my brain plays with itself, that goes something like this: if I'm only going to have one post a month, my brain contends, then it better be a darned good post. When I'm posting a couple of times a week, I don't feel the same kind of self-imposed pressure. I can post a little nothing sort of post, secure in the knowledge that it will drop from top billing in just a couple of days. Not so when I think it might stay there for weeks on end. As a result, most things don't feel post-worthy, and even more time passes between posts.
Second, I miss blogging. I miss the mental exercise of writing. I miss the regular interaction with the blogging community.
And most importantly, third, I think I'm a better parent - a more mindful parent - when I'm blogging than when I'm not blogging. When I'm blogging, I reflect more on the everyday as I parse through our life and think about where to shine the blogging spotlight. And then, more often than not, the very act of trying to give those moments shape by putting them into words forces me to look at things differently, to make connections I might otherwise miss, to discover things I didn't know I knew.
So, I'm resolving. I'm not ready to make a year-long resolution, but I am prepared to start a little BloPoMo of my own, in hopes of finding my BloPo mojo again.
I'll be posting every day in January. I may not have anything at all to say, but I will be logging in, writing down, and hitting publish. Feel free to ignore them - I may end up with a whole lot of posts about what I had for lunch.
But I'll tell you this for sure: in 2010, I'll be hitting at least 32.