If you've been reading my blog lately, then you probably think that there's not much going on around here and that the only things on my mind are the melting snow, my hair stylist, and Dierks Bentley's new cd.
Sometimes it seems like there is an inverse ratio at work on my blog: the more that's going on, the less I am able to write. There are a lot of contributing factors. Bud's privacy is the most important one, of course. But my readership has also expanded to the point that now I'm not even sure who reads my blog and also knows me in real life - so I tread lightly when I write about real-life people, lest I misrepresent or offend. I edit heavily and I process more and more off-blog.
But know this: while I've been shining the spotlight on my hair, there have been extraordinary things happening in the shadows. Bud has been transforming. He has been seeing a child psychologist for several months, and though he spends most of the time at his sessions trying to deflect questions and change the subject, it's clear that inside his brain and body, he has been doing work - hard work, important work - and coming face to face with the things that trouble him. He is naming his feelings, owning them. He is saying what he needs. He is struggling to understand and accept the things he can't control. He is offering solutions and suggestions. He is self-advocating.
And in the midst of all this hard work, he is happy. More than that. He is delightful. He's engaged and he's engaging.
This weekend, Bud's favorite babysitter graduated from college and we were invited to a party in her honor. Bud said he wanted to go, so we set off for what I imagined would be a brief outing similar in nature to the Solstice Party we attended not long ago.
Bud enjoyed the party. He greeted people. He responded to questions. He hugged the guest of honor. Bud and I were among the last to leave, an hour and a half past Bud's regular bedtime. And the next day? We were off to a Mother's Day brunch in a crowded restaurant, where Bud sat and ate and chatted and had a perfectly wonderful time.
So, yes, there is a lot going on over here in the shadows. Some of it is hard. Some of it is frustrating. But much of it - most of it - is hopeful, and helpful, and very, very good.