Thursday, January 31, 2008

She call him "Buster"

I think that Bud has had his first fight with a friend.

"Kelly is angry with me," he told me. "She call me 'Buster.' She says, 'I don't want to play with you anymore.'"

I just don't know what to make of it.

It's startling because Bud doesn't usually give reports like this. And it's clearly weighing on his mind, because he's brought it up several times. Kelly is the child Bud's been most connected to since first grade. I can't imagine what happened, and I haven't gotten any reports of a mishap at school. Bud hasn't been able to offer much more of an explanation.

I sent in a note to his teacher, giving her the information I could glean from Bud and asking for her help in intervening to help him smooth things over with Kelly. Coincidentally, I've got a meeting with the team this afternoon so my hope is that I may get an update then.

Internally, though, I've got competing emotions about this situation. On the one hand, my heart is breaking for Bud. He's had a fight with his friend. It's bothering him. He wants to repair the relationship, but he doesn't know how.

On the other hand, my heart is soaring for Bud. He's had a fight with his FRIEND. It's BOTHERING him. He WANTS to repair the relationship, but he doesn't know how.

So, really, what's a little "Buster" between friends?

13 comments:

kristen said...

We become so good at seeing both sides, don't we? You are so right to be silently cheering this little development. But also right to try and help him fix it. I agree, the fact that he wants to make amends is huge. Curious to hear if you learn more this afternoon. Good luck!! (And I hope things are well!!)

Niksmom said...

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the way all our kids lately seem to shattering myths and stereotypes right and left! I hope youare able to get to the root of it and help Bud iron out the friendship. Sigh, friendship, what a glorious word.

Maddy said...

Ooo you took a long time to load today!

Anyway.....what on earth was I going to say now that I've managed to finally get here.

Ah yes, I think my head would also be in 'explode mode' due to the usual cognitive dissonance of friend/fight/horray/oh dear.

I do hope the teacher can shed some light on the matter.
Cheers

Anonymous said...

I just stumbled upon your blog. Just wanted to let you know that the MOM-NOS id made me laugh.

graceunderautism said...

that's great that he is feeling upset over his friend. I hope they can work things ou quickly. I look forward to an update.

Kitt said...

I hope they can smooth things over!

On a side note, and not to belittle Bud's anguish, but I think it's funny she called him "Buster." You know she had to pick that up from an adult: "You're in some trouble now, Buster!"

MOM-NOS said...

Yes, Kitt - exactly! I'm also impressed by Bud's ability to understand the subjective meaning of "Buster" - that by using it, Kelly is sending a very particular kind of message, and it's not a good one. I would have predicted that Bud's response would have been, simply, "I'm not Buster. I'm Bud." Instead he's got a bit of anguish about it all: "She call me Buster!"

Kitt said...

Oh, the next site I looked at had this article, which you might enjoy. Hero boy!

Ange said...

Here's to the first of many friendly disagreements. ;) This friendship thing is really hard right now for us... Bubba wants friends so bad, but the kids aren't tolerating his social style. He's in social skills and we have to find kids that have similar interests. Often they are younger and don't care about his style, and thankfully I don't have to worry as much about him taking them out!

kyra said...

yay, bud! welcome to the wacky world of relationships!! the ups, the downs, the busters, and the blossoms! i love that he *got* it, through and through!

Beau McClelland said...

Kids are becoming smarter each day...

Good on him for knowing what his friend meant.

I hope he can sort things out!

Jordan said...

This is a great development, you're right. And I too love that she called him Buster - it's my kids' biggest fighting word! I hear it everyday, "Mommmmmeeeeeee! He called me "Buster" again!" Too funny. I hope Bud and his friend work things out soon.

Daisy said...

Small consolation, but young kids usually resolve their fights quickly and resume their friendships with no negative results. Let's hope that happens with Kelly and Bud.