It was the best of times; it was the worst of times.
For Bud, 2007 was a year of upheaval and, strangely, progress.
Most of what I blogged about our lives in 2007 was written between the lines. I alluded to what we were going through, but I didn’t write much about it. I wasn’t sure what to say, for starters. And I wasn’t sure how much of the story was mine to tell. So I stuck with allusion.
I talked to Bud’s dad the other day, though, and he told me that he feels like a guy whose character got written out of a sitcom because the actor’s contract was not renewed. I can see where he’s coming from.
As you may have surmised by what I haven’t written this year, Bud’s dad and I are no longer together. It’s complicated, of course, and really not for public consumption. He made a difficult – but logical – move to another area, and he talks to Bud on the phone every day, and often several times a day.
As a result, 2007 was characterized by extraordinary change for Bud. He had to deal with a radical shake-up at home, and with the absence of one of the most primary people in his life. He had to manage confusion and uncertainty and anger and sadness. His transition to a new school year was difficult. His anxiety was at an all time high. His unrelated health issues prompted the scheduling of major surgery.
And yet, he did it.
Bud negotiated the difficulty. He named his sadness and his anger. He forged a new kind of day-to-day relationship with his dad, and became masterful at the art of the telephone conversation. He focused on working through small changes, which helped him learn to work through the big ones. He trusted his dad and me. He kept moving forward.
As a result, 2007 was also characterized by extraordinary growth for Bud – physically, emotionally, and developmentally. He became a terrific reader. He made tremendous advances with language – using it to comment, consult, question, explain, describe, implore. He learned that though circumstances change, a parent’s love never does. And neither does a child’s.
We have all survived 2007, both apart and together. No one has been written out of the sitcom, though the plot has taken some sudden turns. And we all move into 2008 with hope - hope for a year of continued progress and hope for a year of settling in.