Friday, November 02, 2007

All in good time

"Time will tell." That's how I ended my last post: time will tell if Bud's preoccupation with weather is really diminishing or not. Time will tell.

Yesterday, Bud had an appointment with a new doctor to look at his medication in a more global way. The appointment was in the same major medical center we always visit, but it was in a different location in the center - coincidentally, the same area where his pediatrician's office used to be, many years ago.

As we traveled to the hallway we hadn't visited in years, Bud said, "Remember when I'm littler I was scared of elevators."

"That's right, Bud," I said. "You were really scared of elevators when you were little, and now you're not scared of elevators at all."

"I'm not scared when I'm bigger," Bud said. "Just when I'm littler."

"That's right," I said. "Now that you're bigger, you like riding in elevators."

"Yeah," he said, as we kept walking.

"And you know what?" I said. "Someday, when you're even bigger, you're going to say to me 'Mom, remember when I was littler and I was afraid of storms? Now I'm bigger and I'm not afraid of storms at all.'"

"When I'm bigger?" Bud asked. "Not I'm littler?"

"Yes," I said. "When you're even bigger than you are now, storms won't scare you anymore."

Bud didn't say anything else, but I could tell that he was thinking hard about it. I was thinking hard about it, too.

Time will tell.


kristen said...

If the storm could simply wash Bud's fear away -- that is my wish for both of you.

Sending a hug today.

Ange said...

It's already happening... you mentioned storms and a reminder that they scare him and he didn't get upset nor did it trigger "the cycle." Maybe something clicked. I love when they process something and it makes sense to them in ways we may have never even considered.

VAB said...

I've had the same conversation with out guy (the elevator thing is identical, but substitute bees for storms). And it's true. I like to point out that there were things I was scared of as a kid (the dark, for example) that no longer bother me. We all make progress.

Club 166 said...

I'm always amazed at the remote memories that are retrieved.

I have trouble remembering anything before the age of about 5. My son (now almost 8) vividly recalls details about the dashboard of the car my wife used to have-which she sold before he was 2!

I think Ange is right. The fact that Bud can discuss storms without getting upset is a big deal.


Drama Mama said...

Look at him process. He is working on it.

He is amazing.

MOM-NOS said...

Bud is the same way, Joe. He remembers things in vivid detail from his toddler years - often things I've forgotten about. I'm reminded of a post about memory that I wrote a couple of years ago. Maybe I really was onto something...

Phoebe Gleeson said...

A touch OT: I'm on the RDI bus - thanks in large part to you and thismom. Well, I'm at the RDI bus stop anyway.

Share it with us, if you'd like - I'm going to be blogging from for the time being.

Daisy said...

Ah, planting a seed in his mind. Now you just have to nurture that seed, and hopefully watch it grow.

kristina said...

Charlie sometimes says one word kind of out of the blue and I realize he is remembering something long ago too. He always remembers places especially something like a room: I'm thinking Bud is too?

Great to hear he is betterer about the storms.

Joyful Dreamer said...

My spectrum son Max (almost 13) and my spectrum son Jake (almost 10) used to be terrified of dogs. I brought home a dog (Hoping that the RDI principle of productive uncertainty would come into play as well as a little cognitive behavioral approach would help), and now 3 years later Max LIKES dogs. It took until this summer for him to overcome his fear, but he wanted to work through it so he did! He now has a beautiful relationship with our one surviving dog and we let him pick out his very own puppy that will be coming home for Christmas.
I am sure Bud will overcome his fear of storms in time as well. I have noticed that when progress comes with our kids it tends to look on the outside like nothing is happeneing, and then suddenly almost overnight it's like it was never an issue and they are over it!

You are doing a great job with Bud. He's so lucky to have you as his mom!

Niksmom said...

Amazing, isn't it, the little bit of progress and growth that slip out in moments you don't expect them. Here's to Bud's continuing to grow bigger..."Not I'm littler?"

Nope, Bud is geting bigger each day in so many ways.

Casdok said...

Good that hes thinking!

David said...

There was one of those "wow" moments huh?

Have to agree with joyful dreamer that Bud is lucky to have you mom not otherwise specified. Your posts are brave and generous, thoughtful and full of light. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Koby still has this thing about storms - not so much storms, but tornados. For the longest time whenever it would storm he would start asking me all of these questions about tornados and I would have to explain that they don't come around here very often and that this was just a 'normal' storm. But, he has been preoccupied very much with weather interests - I would catch him watching the weather channel quite a bit just for the fun of it and we would have to get many books about the weather and what it was doing and whatnot. He said he wanted to be a weatherman for the longest time, but now it is inventor. But, his anxiety related to the weather a lot of times was similar to Buds - no matter how much I would explain, he would perseverate on the topic. It has gotten a bit better now that he is a little bit older, but he still has his moments.