Saturday, March 31, 2007

My friend Bud

In this post on NT's are Weird, Joel invites people to share what they like about the autistic people in their lives. Joel reports that elsewhere on the Internet, "parents are all talking about how you know you have an autistic if they do various disgusting or horrible things," so he asks us to identify not what is difficult and not why we love them "in spite of the autism," but why we genuinely like the autistic people in our lives.

Let me tell you about Bud.

I love Bud. I love him in that primal to-the-gut way that momma bears love their cubs. My love for him is the essence of who I am. But that's not why I like him. If Bud weren't my child, I would still want him to be my friend.

Here's why:

Bud makes me laugh. He does it on purpose, in that way that good friends do - he knows what will make me laugh and he seizes opportunities to do it. And he laughs at my jokes, too.

Bud is genuine. He never leads with pretense. He puts his cards on the table every day, he makes himself vulnerable, and he trusts that his vulnerability will be safe with me.

Bud is forgiving. He gets angry at me, but after some cooling down, he is always willing to re-engage, to work it out, and to make it better.

Bud challenges my thinking and helps me to see the world in new and different ways.

Bud lets me be who I am, without imposing a lot of expectations about how I should act, what I should say, or who I should be in this world. Who I am already is just fine with him - and, because of that, Bud makes me feel good about myself.

Bud's enthusiasm for life is infectious. He experiences joy with his whole being - inside and out - and his joy radiates from him.

I could go on all day, but I won't - I've got even bigger things planned. You see, it's Saturday, which means that it's "Mom and Bud Day." There are adventures awaiting me - adventures with Bud, the boy I'm proud to have as a son and lucky to have as a friend.

7 comments:

mumkeepingsane said...

Thank you so much for sharing that. It was nice to read.

kirsten said...

I'm so glad that some people are focusing on the positive aspects of autism. when i read Rules (loved it, btw) i felt like the author described autism realistically (some hard parts for sure) and let the beauty of autism show through. The beauty is there and we need to share that aspect with others.

Kristen said...

I love the idea of focusing on the positives of autism. I love my son and feel that the only parts of the "autism" I would change are the parts that makes him suffer. I love that he is generous and loves to share. Very "atypical" for a 4 year old. I love his sense of humor. I love his smile.

Off topic but did you see this:

http://www.autismspeaks.org/inthenews/teletubbies.php

Made me think of Bud.

kristina said...

Looking forward to the future adventures of Mom and Bud!

Ashley loves Leo said...

Those are great attributes to being a friend. Bud already knows how to be one at his young age, and so many adults don't! THanks for making me smile today.

Daisy said...

Bud is a lucky boy -- and you are lucky, too.

gretchen said...

I think those are all the same reasons that WE want to be YOUR friend, MOM. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree :-)

Hope you had a fun day.