Oh, you think you're so smart.
But, okay, I have to admit it: you were right. The second version took half the time and is twice as good.
My thanks to all who, through comments and e-mail, provided sympathy, encouragement, and suggestions for ways to achieve some local coherence. Special thanks to my brother, Uncle Penguin, whose own story of spectacular technological loss gave me some much-needed perspective.
Now is when you get to say "I told you so."