Monday, July 03, 2006

Eight great words

"Mom, I have to go to the bathroom."

I understand why other parents are not delighted when they hear these words. I particularly understand why they might grumble to themselves, roll their eyes, or heave heavy sighs when they hear these words in the contexts in which I've heard them lately - yesterday, in the middle of a three-hour car trip just as we drove past the highway exit with the sign reading "Next exit - 10 miles"; today, in the hot grocery store parking lot, just as we loaded the last bag into the car.

I really do understand; but for me, there was no grumbling, no eye rolling, no heavy sigh. For me, there was excitement, enthusiasm, and a couple of dances of joy. Because for me, these eight words meant more than barreling at top speed toward the nearest rest stop. They meant more than having to deal with melting ice cream in the car and holiday shoppers in the grocery store.

They meant that we continued to carry a backpack with the same unused, unnecessary change of clothing, not because I'd been diligent or proactive, not because I'd read Bud's body language well, not because I'd been directive and encouraging -

But because Bud is increasingly able to read and interpret the cues that his body is sending to him;

Because he knew that he had information that I didn't have;

Because he wanted to engage with me in problem-solving;

Because he communicated not at the moment of crisis, but with enough lead time to resolve the problem without incident.

Bud has spoken eight-word sentences before, but with these particular eight words Bud told me everything I needed to know.

11 comments:

Kristina Chew said...

Way to go Bud!

Charlie asks in the car --- on the highway --- a request more than worth stopping for!

Mamaroo said...

That is so awesome! Great job, Bud!!! I hope Roo is able to say the same eight word sentence when he is Bud's age.

Octoberbabies said...

That's awesome!!! You're right, there's so much that went into that 8-word sentence.

India asks to go to the bathroom but not when she actually needs to go to the bathroom. She waits til she's doing something she doesn't want to do like going to sleep or eating dinner to say "I wanna go ta bafroom!!"

Bud rocks!

Tera said...

Great job, Bud!

I'm a lot older than Bud, yet I still need to work on solving a problem before it hits crisis mode. (When my computer started acting funny, it took several months before I told my mom about it).

Bud is certainly all that and a bag of chips. I like his "Big Idea" ;-)

kirstencan said...

i cannot WAIT to hear those words!

MOM-NOS said...

Tera! You've been watching! Bud would be delighted. It's funny - he talks about his "big idea" all the time!

ebohlman said...

Ain't neuromaturation a wonderful thing?

Ain't pretending that autistic kids are doomed to never undergo neuromaturation without expensive interventions a dumb thing? (If you're talking about the people who sell that idea, ain't it an evil thing?)

Camille said...

That's great for you and Bud.
My mostly NT kid has a major problem with this, the whole bathroom thing was not very settiled until s/he was about 7 years old, that meant accidents in first grade, at school. Sleeping through the night dry took more years. A long time. And this kid is really very NT, with only a few traces of neurological immaturity/oddness.

Camille said...

"My mostly NT kid has a major..." make that HAD. The mostly NT kid is past 20 years old now. Very grown up.

Joanna said...

Way to go Bud! My son doesn't let me know when he has to go, he just runs to the bathroom or makes this little noise that lets me know he has to go. Hopefully I will hear him say those eight words soon too!

Dianne said...

Hi, Mom i stubbled on this blog and what can i say finaly i again have a glimmer of hope someone DOES know what i face daily ! i was just captivaded reading it and know omg this sounds like me. i started a new blog for my son again you gave me some hope back. thanks and i really wanna continue to follow you .