Sunday, April 02, 2006

Baby bust

Bud tried to tell me. He knew he was going to be scared at the play date, and he was. You see, he was thinking through the implications of the play date much more thoroughly than I was. I was thinking about Hayden and Hannah. Bud was thinking about their baby sister.

Bud does not care for babies. He never has. I think it's because they are too much like dogs - noisy, unpredictable, confusing, quick-moving and, perhaps worst, attention-grabbing. And it's not just any attention they grab - it's my attention. For as long as I can remember I have been a baby magnet. I am drawn to babies - all babies, any babies - and they are drawn to me. And Bud knows it.

In yesterday's post I proposed that Bud was scared because he didn't know what to expect from the play date. I was wrong. I think he was scared because he knew exactly what to expect: If we have a play date, they will bring the baby. I will not enjoy the baby. The baby will try to be with Mom. This will bother me. I will seek comfort from Mom. The baby will be near Mom. I do not want to be near the baby. I do not want Mom to be near the baby. I will be scared.

The script he was using last night to talk about it - "It's going to get me! It's going to get me!" -now suddenly makes sense.

Luckily, we were only seconds into the play date when I figured it out. I kept my distance from the baby, but it was just not meant to be. The deceptively sunny playground had an icy cold wind blasting through it (a real one, not a metaphorical one). We moved indoors, but that put us in closer proximity to the baby, who got tangled in her sister's legs and started crying. She calmed down, but then Hayden bumped his head and he started crying. It didn't take long for Bud to walk up to me, coat in hand, and say "We have to get going. Put on your coat, Mom." Then to his friends, he added, "Good luck with the games, everyone!"

Good language, good self-advocacy, good problem-solving. Bad play date.


kristina said...

Oh no!

But très magnifique that Bud could tell you---could self-advocate---the need to get up and god.

We are going through a bout of dog-fear.

gretchen said...

Is "good luck with the games" a script? It made me chuckle.

Another thing we have in common- I can't resist a baby either. It's been that way for as long as I can remember- I loved to help in the church nursery and babysit when I was 8 years old.

Sorry the playdate didn't quite work out, but it sounds like Bud handled it spectacularly. Great job Bud!

MOM-NOS said...

Gretchen, "good luck with the games, everyone" sounded like a script to me - he said it a couple of times, exactly the same way - but I couldn't place it. My hunch is that the "real" script is "Good luck with the xxxx, everyone," and that he was modifying it to fit the context. It fit beautifully, in a "hey, nothing personal, I wish you all well, but this is just not my gig" sort of way.

Anonymous said...

I'm with Bud. I dislike babies. I always have. They're smelly, drooly, noisy, boring and annoying. Large groups of babies make me want to head for the hills.
I have three children whom I love dearly. I loved them from the moment two pink lines appeared on the pee stick. I was fortunate that they were never babies. Yes, they wore diapers and yes, they cried, sometimes loudly, but they had the intelligence and tact to be charming, witty and urbane from the start.
I now realize it's OTHER PEOPLE'S babies whom I dislike.