Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Bud made a friend!

I wasn't actually there to witness it myself, but my heart is bursting with pride all the same.

Bud's Nana took him to the beach yesterday. There were two women there with their kids - a boy about Bud's age, and two toddlers. From past experience, we would predict that one of several things would happen: a) Bud would ignore these children entirely; b) Bud would show distress anytime one of the children came anywhere near him ("Oh! He's taking my water!"); or c) Bud would approach the children indirectly, and make echolalic pronouncements like "Tinky Winky jump for fun!" and play near the children, but not with them.

Nana found out quickly that the little boy's name was Brian, and that he was very, very verbal. Brian knew how to swim, face down in the water and with great aplomb. Bud watched him with fascination, then approached him directly and said "I want to do that." And so the friendship began. Brian showed Bud how to blow bubbles and they delighted in sticking their heads all the way under the water. Then Brian wanted to play sharks, and Bud joined in (though he took the time out to run over to Nana to say "It's imagination") before returning to the game.

At one point, Brian-the-swimming-shark was chasing Bud-the-running-boy and Bud looked over his shoulder with more than a little wariness. Brian stopped and said "I know! Let's play Follow Your Friend, But Don't Bump Him." Bud thought that was a great idea, and the game continued.

Nana says she sat at the water's edge, entranced and with an enormous smile on her face for the full hour and a half that the boys played together. She said "I've never seen him look into another child's eyes and laugh - but he was doing it!" By the time they parted, Brian announced "He's my best friend!"

The bad news is that Brian is not from around here - not even from the same state (though Nana told his mom that if she moved here, we'd provide free child care.) But the good news is, success breeds success. My hunch is that this experience has boosted Bud's confidence and has given him a taste of how fun it can be to play with another child. We will be on the lookout for the Brians of the world, and will seek out opportunities to engage!

9 comments:

Gretchen said...

I just found your site today, and I'm sure that I'll be checking back regularly. My son (5 years old) was diagnosed PDD-NOS in Feb. I know I should find a support group to attend, but I work fulltime and have 3 kids- it's hard to find the time (and the emotional strength)to join a group of strangers to talk about the quirks of my child. So it feels great to read some of your postings and realize that someone else's family is going through the same stuff. We're not all alone out here in the PDD world. I'm encouraged to hear that your son found someone to engage with- I hope my son can meet a Brian!

Kyra said...

OH. MY. GOD!! i LOVE that! what a wonderful, exciting, encouraging story! i know we only just 'met' but i feel such indentification with you and with Bud and am SOOOOOOO rooting for him and for you, this news thrilled me to the bone!!

i think you are totally right on. this experience will boost his confidence and will surely be transposable to ALL social situations.

dear sweet brave bud!

Amanda Sue said...

that is awesome. i am grinnin' from ear to ear.

Linda said...

I am so happy that Bud is progressing so well!
I am new to your blog and was looking through your achives. I was very interested in the CranioSacral therapy you mentioned in February and wondered if it continued to help Bud. I didn't have time to go through all the achives to see if it continued to work well for Bud. I have a son w/PDD-NOS and would like to explore this treatment with him. Can you give an update? Thanks!

Moi ;) said...

That is Always the way it is - they always make friends who don't live anywhere close by!!!! AAAck!!!

Zed said...

I too have just found your site and what a fab post I get to start off with. Shame you missed the event but wow, what a happening.

Anonymous said...

Just found your blog today. I know it's an old story, but I have tears in my eyes reading this account. Alex has aspergers.

Anonymous said...

I just cried so hard! its so difficult to find a friend.

Anonymous said...

and yes... I will be also looking for the Brians ( an his parents) in this word!. blessings